Incest

I had a rough upbringing.

My father was an alcoholic and my mother was trying to keep things together after she kicked him out.

My father was what you would call a “closet alcoholic” and “quarterly alcoholic” meaning that it was not all of the time he was drinking, but he would binge drink for a week or two and then sleep for another week, then get sober for at little while and then start all over again.. On the outside my father looked rather good, taking his lifestyle in consideration, and you wouldn’t necessarily suspect alcohol abuse.

The courts forced my mother to send me on weekends with my father, and if she didn’t she would go to jail, so she really had no choice and I therefore don’t blame her for what has happened.

Many of you has read one way or another that my father sexually abused me when I was little, I have “forgiven him” for that, mostly because he is dead, and hating him brings me no where.

When I was three and a half years old, I came home from a weekend stay with my father, and my mother notices black bruises on on my pubic bone and on my inner thighs.

She immediately took me to the ER and they took pictures of it as well as my mother did.. They didn’t do further after that, my mother kept expressing her suspicion that something was going on, but again they denied it.

When I was 5 years old, my friend sister and I was playing with our dog (we were at the time living with the friend) and the day before I’d grabbed a mans crotch because he gave me a piece of gum in the train, I guess it was my way of saying “thank you”.

I “pretended” to be giving the dog a blowjob and my mothers friend noticed and pulled me out in the kitchen where she started questioning me. I confessed, and told them that I remembered things that my father did (touching him and me).

My mother immediately reported my father, and they started an investigation.. They questioned me, and I had to show them what he did with two dolls.

I slammed the dolls together three times and said “and now we won’t talk anymore about that!”. My lawyer and the police knew with my words and actions along with the pictures, that he indeed had done something, but I wasn’t ready to testify in court.

I completely shut down and wouldn’t talk further about it, so the police chose to close down the case (which they shouldn’t).

I still remember bits and pieces of what happened with my father, I remember him touching me, and I him, I remember the smell and that it was light outside, and I remember that I felt like it was wrong.

I chose when I was younger, to start talking about it.. Of course it’s not something that I’m telling everybody and anybody, but if people ask I answer, and I do once in a while talk to my husband about it.. I do it so i don’t suppress my feelings, I don’t want my feelings trapped inside of my body.

I was a child, and why happened to me was completely and utterly disgusting, it was wrong, and what was even more wrong was the way that the authorities handled it.. They should’ve moved forward with the case based on the evidence they had which was the video material, pictures and my actions with the dolls.

My advice to parents it, that if you suspect something, please do go ahead and report it, and if the police like here chooses to close down the case and you still have a suspicion, please push them! It’s your child, and it is about justice for your child..

I never got justice in what has happened with my father, and that’s part of the reasons I guess why I just do not have one inch of respect for the authorities in Denmark.

They neglected me, when I needed them to stand by my side, they decided for me that I wasn’t ready to witness in the court, instead of pushing me a little bit further..

I still to this day have flashbacks to what happened with my father and I.

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